Archive for July, 2008

Facts About Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

Thursday, July 31st, 2008
boss jokes
Adriane Lauren Luna asked:


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What is Sexual Harassment?

One example of Employment Law Dispute is Sexual Harassment. Sexual Harassment is a form of employment discrimination. The law defines it as an unwelcome verbal, visual, or physical conduct of a sexual nature that is severe or pervasive and affects working conditions or creates a hostile work environment.

Stats on Sexual Harassment

About 15,000 cases relating to sexual harassment in the workplace are being brought to the United States Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) every year, 60% of which are filed by female employees.

However, not only female workers are filing sexual harassment claims. In 2004 alone, 15% of the complaints handled by the EEOC were filed by men, 11% of which were against their female superiors.

What are the Characteristics of Sexual Harassment?



It is Unwelcome – the act done or remark said must be unwelcome and disturbing. Otherwise, it is not actionable.





It may be done:







Verbally – it may be a green joke, unpleasant rumors, or a sexually-insulting remark or comment;

Physically – it may be in the form of an assault, an inappropriate touching of the body, hugging, kissing or stroking;

Visually – it may be through screensavers, pictures and messages;

Non-verbally - it may take the form of a facial expression or derogatory gestures; or

In written form – such as letters, text messages or email.







It is severe and pervasive – the remark or action must be seriously insulting, affects the working condition and creates a hostile working environment.



Who can be a harasser?

Anyone (whether male or female, whether a boss, worker, or stranger) can be held liable of sexual harassment. Also, whether it is intentional or unintentional, an act or utterance, as long as it is offensive and sexually-related, may be used as ground for a sexual harassment claim.

Who can be harassed?

In the same vein, anyone (whether male or female, whether a boss, worker, or stranger) who has been sexually offended may sue for sexual harassment. In addition, it is not material to your claim whether the one you are suing belongs the same or opposite sex.

What to do when sexually harassed?

The first thing to do is to inform your superiors about the incidents right away so they can perform legal and administrative measures to warn or punish the perpetrator. Sexual Harassment is a ground, among others, for employment termination. One incident is enough for a worker to lose his job.

Another solution would be to confront the harasser and tell him that his actions or remarks are unwelcome, pervasive and are affecting your work. In order to maintain a good working environment, it is better to give him a warning first.

But if the act is so severe or if he still persists in harassing you, then it is better to take some legal actions;

If you have been a victim of sexual harassment, you should hire an Employment Law Disputes Attorney to defend you from this malicious act. Sexual Harassment is an actionable wrong, and the victim is entitled to damages. Contact your lawyer right away.

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For credible legal advice and representation regarding sexual harassment, you may always depend on our Los Angeles sexual harassment attorneys. Just log on to http://www.expertlosangelesattorney.com/LosAngelesSexualHarassmentAttorney.html and we will immediately cater to your legal concerns.



Leo

How to Fish Better

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
boss jokes
Toby Marshall asked:


It sounds like the beginning of an off-colour joke: what is the only industry where the salespeople control the quality of the product they’re hawking? The answer of course is the recruitment industry. Yet despite this truism, one of Australia’s leading recruiters, author Toby Marshall, is convinced the sector is fundamentally failing employers and jobseekers alike.

Whether in person or in his new book, Get great people: Your roadmap to hiring the best, Mr. Marshall doesn’t mince words about the industry charged with rounding up willing and able workers for eager bosses facing a scarcity of skilled labour. For starters, he doesn’t believe there is a talent scarcity.

“It’s a perceived shortage”, says Mr. Marshall, the director of Abacus Recruitment Solutions. “People are all fishing in the same pond … People believe there is a shortage because recruitment says there is. But you’ve got to define talent more broadly. You’ve got to fish differently from everyone else.” He says the country’s current unemployment rate of just over five per cent is misleading; the percentage of people who are underemployed (he points out that one need only to work 90 minutes a week to be considered employed) is around 15 per cent.

Mr. Marshall also doesn’t put much stock in what he calls the “non-debate” that is industrial relations reforms — saying that bosses, workers and politicians all seem to be missing the point. The issue isn’t just creating jobs and filling them. “The real issue is creating jobs people actually want to work in”, he says. “People only want a couple of things: we want a job where we can feel useful and feed our kids. Nothing else matters. Everything else is crap.” Yet time and again, Mr. Marshall says, recruiters continue to lose sight of what matters to workers and what employers need.

The root of all evil

The biggest problem with traditional recruiters is the vast majority of them work on strict commission and want 100 per cent of their fee paid up front, regardless if the employees they supply are a good fit or end up staying with a company long enough to become profitable. Mr. Marshall writes in his book that a good recruiter needs to have experience, maturity and industry knowledge, and without these prerequisites their advice becomes questionable. Unfortunately, the driving force behind many recruiters is not to deliver thoughtful advice on which candidates are best suited for which roles, but to make a “sale” at any cost.

“If the consultant’s earnings are commission-driven it can be difficult to receive trustworthy advice”, Mr. Marshall writes. “Over 90 per cent of recruiters are on commission-based remuneration, which undermines the objectivity of their advice. How is your consultant being paid?”

Mr. Marshall writes that it is crucial to find a consultant who won’t force “bodies” or useless ads on bosses who need to hire. Often, many agencies use impressive-looking senior sales people to sell to a company looking for workers, but then delegate the actual recruiting to a junior staff member with less experience and fewer connections.

There is tremendous turnover in the recruitment field — the average tenure of a new consultant is only between six and 11 months. Mr. Marshall says the reason why so many leave the industry so soon is because of the stress of putting sales over delivery.

“Most young recruiters today are young, untrained, inexperienced and under pressure”, he says. “It’s a very bad combination.”

To improve recruiting practices, companies need to find consultants who are willing to take their payments over the long haul rather than expect a full commission up front. Mr. Marshall suggests a 25/25/50 split: 25 per cent when the recruiter starts working, 25 per cent when the recruited employee starts working, and 50 per cent after about a three-month period when it’s clear the employee has become established in the job and a good fit for the company.

Unfortunately, most recruiters baulk at the idea of delaying their commission payments over such a long period. The trend is to keep the notion of recruitment divorced from the notion of retention. In other words, most consultants take the money, fill the job and run.

An in-sourced solution

Mr. Marshall writes in his book:

“The simple truth is: most people can be good employees if they are in the right job and the right company at the right stage in their career. Beware the recruitment consultant who tells you otherwise and tries to convince you they have ‘great people’ on their books.”

One of the main arguments of Get great people is that too often talented workers end up in the wrong place at the wrong time of their careers. How do talented people end up in the wrong job? Mr. Marshall writes:

• “They focus on money and not other important factors

• “They were pushed into it by a recruitment consultant who was keen to ‘sell’ them to the company regardless of fit.”

If companies want to avoid the pitfalls of traditional recruitment, HR managers must realize they have the power to take charge of their own hiring — provided they cherry pick sensible strategies from the recruitment industry and marry them to a broader philosophy about employment. For example: one of the mistakes HR managers often make is buying one-time ads in newspapers or on the web each time a position becomes available. Mr. Marshall suggests doing what the recruiters do — buying bundles of 10 ads and advertising a position four times. A simple strategy, but it works. Conversely, a shift in philosophy for an HR manager involves defining talent more broadly than recruiters do and to refrain from passing judgment on potential employees based strictly on the hard skills (or lack thereof) on their resumes.

“It continues to amaze me: most companies hire on skill and fire on fit”, says Mr. Marshall. He points out that to locate people with the precise skills to do a particular job, hire them, and discover that they aren’t a good fit for the culture of the company, and then get rid of them, is a costly and inefficient way to operate. Conversely, to hire workers who are an excellent fit for the company and who have some of the needed skills (or skills broadly related to the needed skills) and then train them to fill the gaps in their knowledge makes much more sense. Yet companies remain reluctant to do this.

The interviewing process is another area that needs a radical shake-up, according to Mr. Marshall. Usually, the person who will be the successful candidate’s direct manager along with his or her own direct manager are the ones who conduct job interviews. “But what do most job ads say?” asks Mr. Marshall. “They say ‘we are looking for a team player’. What does that even mean? It usually means we want a compliant person who will work their ass off for the company.” If employers are serious about getting a team player, Mr. Marshall says; why not invite one or more members of the actual team to participate in the interview? As these people will be working alongside the new employee, they may be able to provide some insight into whether he or she will make a good fit for the team.

Gen Y not?

Much has been written about what the elusive workers from Generation Y (born after 1977) want in a career, and Mr. Marshall holds strong opinions about what it takes to recruit and retain this pool of talent. He dismisses a recent study that shows Gen Yers are primarily concerned with how much money they will be making and says they are no more or less greedy than anyone else.

“It’s hard to pin down anything about this generation, but if you can say one thing about them it’s that they travel in packs”, he says. “They travel in packs and they want to work in an environment that is fun; [essentially] they want to want to work in a good pack.”

By taking some of the emphasis away from hard skills and focusing on relationships between team players, companies will find it easier to acquire and hold on to younger workers. Often, Gen Yers turn to their ever-expanding network of friends, rather than the newspaper or the web, to get the jump on good jobs. Likewise, managers should consider hiring new workers from existing employees’ circle of friends and acquaintances. There may even come a day when companies will be more inclined to hire whole packs of friends rather than just individuals.

Despite their reputation for flip-flopping from job to job, Gen Yers can master loyalty, says Mr. Marshall, so long as companies are willing to focus on what’s important to them. This means keeping the job and the work environment exciting, keeping workers updated on where their careers are going, and paying them well. Many young workers also look for companies that share their values and have a conscience — or at least appear to have a conscience. “Many of these young people are very idealistic”, says Mr. Marshall, “even if they themselves do bugger all about it.”

Some other helpful hints

Whether hiring from Gen Y, Gen X, a semi-retired Boomer, or someone in between, you may find yourself having to hold your nose and hire a recruiter to provide you with candidates. If this is the case, Get great people offers a lot useful questions to ask recruiters before you commission them. They include:

• “What salary range is appropriate for this role? A really strong indicator of whether they know what is going on ‘out there’, in your field. Knowing the salary range will also help you define the type of person you are seeking.

• “Can I talk to some of your long-standing clients? If you get fobbed off on this question it is very revealing — and a real danger sign.

• “Do you provide the applicant’s original resume? This is an important point, as many consultants retype the resumes before they hand them to you. Why? To standardise the resume and put it on the recruiter’s letterhead — it’s branding their company. If they retype, insist they give you the original resume also. The original will give you useful information such as how the applicant writes, how they present on paper, and perhaps some important negative information about them (you will find that the recruiter’s standardisation sometimes loses negatives!)”

In the end, recruiting good workers is a lot like fishing, and if you find you aren’t getting many nibbles, perhaps it’s time to consider pulling up anchor, changing your bait, and casting your line in an entirely different pond.

Toby has worked for nearly 20 years in recruitment. His focus is on creative recruitment to solve his client’s employment problems, and on reducing their risk of recruiting the wrong employee. His formal studies were in economics, and he has an MBA from a top 50 international business school.

In 2005 he published the Amazon best seller, Get Great People – a practical guide on how to recruit employees and the whole topic of Recruitment and Selection. Toby is an active speaker on the international conference circuit. He speaks on Recruitment and Selection; The Changing World of Employment – How to Recruit; and The Great Staff Scarcity Myth.

In early 2007 he created The Ultimate Recruitment Kit for companies – the ultimate creative recruitment guide. His mission: To give all companies, no matter how few employees they have, the information and expert help they need to do their own recruitment and selection and find great new staff. If you like what you have read so far, you can get more information and resources at www.YourRecruitmentCoach.com

If you are in Australia and are interested in Recruitment Services and help with particular recruitment and selection problems, you can go to Abacus Recruitment Solutions at

www.abacusrecruit.com.au



Alvin

A Journey Inside the Thoughts of a Man!

Sunday, July 27th, 2008
boss jokes
Matt Dunn asked:


But before you dismiss us all as pathetically repressed, what you girls have to realise is this: Whereas you and your friends are bonded together by a intricate web of emotional support (just look at Carrie and the girls in Sex And The City, or the Desperate Housewives), most male friendships work on a different (and somewhat more basic) level. And forget support - ours have developed from an ancient and complex structure of insults and mickey-taking. Don’t believe me? Well, just watch your boyfriend next time he’s out with the boys and you’ll see what I mean.

So it’s not our fault. In fact - it’s practically genetic. From the first time that Neanderthal man strutted around his cave boasting about the size of his club, man has engaged in the ritual humiliation of his fellow man. And over the years, an unwritten set of rules has developed, passed down from father to son through the mists of time, indicating what things are fair game, which lines cannot be crossed, and which subjects are taboo.

Nowadays, when it comes to the car we drive, the shirt we’re wearing, the team we support, even our haircut - guys can spend hours debating their respective merits. In fact, almost anything goes.

But not quite anything. While mates will happily talk about their choices, when it comes to discussing their choice of ‘mate’, it’s a different story entirely. We just don’t talk to each other that way about that kind of thing. And while we might be desperate to let our friends know how fantastic we think you are, if we try and bring up the subject directly, at the very least, that’s a hanging offence - and not necessarily by the neck. Instead, we make reference to what we think about you in much more subtle ways.

So, if you’re out with him and his friends, or even just ‘accidentally’ overhear him as he chats to a pal on the phone, here’s how you can tell if he really thinks you’re great - by what he says about you to his mates.

Your Looks: You’ve just had your hair cut, and it looks fab, and (assuming he’s actually noticed) he’s told you he loves it. But whilst he might happily say this to your face, he won’t dare say those words in front of his mates. Instead, he’ll probably compare you to someone who all blokes universally recognise as being a hottie - that way, he’s still describing you as being gorgeous, but by association. “Don’t you think she looks just like that Sienna Whatserface?” he’ll say, not wanting to admit to his pals that he knows exactly who these celebs are. His mates will all pretend to look blank for a few seconds until he adds “Jude Whatsisname’s ex”, at which point they’ll all nod appreciatively before getting back to discussing the previous night’s footie results. “But it’s important to be sure we’re comparing you to the right celebrity” says my friend Will. “After all, how would we feel if we overheard you describing us to your friends as looking like Russell Grant, when you actually meant Russell Crowe?” Oh yes - we’re not flicking through ‘Hello’ for nothing while we’re waiting our turn at the dentist’s, you know.

Your Job: Although no guy likes to be seen to be outdone in the professional stakes by his ‘better’ half, secretly we’re all incredibly proud of how well you’re doing at work. So when he boasts to his mates about your recent promotion, or tells them you’ve just got a great pay-rise, what he’s actually saying is “look how hard-working, clever and well-respected my girlfriend is - and it’s not just me who rates her, so does her boss.” Plus, we love the sight of you in those sexy, short-skirted power suits - especially the higher up the corporate ladder you climb. And it’s nothing to do with the fact that bigger pay packets for you equals bigger presents for us - as modern-thinking twenty-first century males, we’re more than happy for you to be so career-focused; after all, it works for Justin and Cameron. Just as long as our dinner’s on the table when we get home, that is…

Your Personality: One thing you’ll never hear your boyfriend say about you to his mates is “she’s got a great personality”. That’s not because he thinks you’re boring - of course he doesn’t - but we’ve all glanced through the personal ads at one time or another, and we know the other, ‘gravitationally-challenged’ connotation of that phrase. Instead, if he really thinks you’re funny and smart, what he will do is tell amusing stories and anecdotes about you; when my best mate Dave started letting me know about all the ‘hilarious’ things his girlfriend Alison was getting up to, I knew they’d be out choosing a ring before long. And why? Because as soon as any guy starts seeing those daft things you do as totally adorable, and worthy enough to risk embarrassment by telling his mates all about them with you at the centre of the joke rather than the butt of it, you can be sure he thinks you’re much more than just a pretty face. Or butt, for that matter.

The Way You Dress: “Contrary to popular belief” explains my friend Chris, “guys don’t actually want their girlfriends to wear anything too revealing - unless it’s just for our benefit.” And he’s right - nothing you wore that attracted us when we originally met will we ever want you to wear again, particularly if you’re going out without us, as there’s no way we want you to be stared at by other men like we did when we first saw you. The bottom line, if you excuse the phrase, is this: Men don’t notice what a woman is wearing - just how little. Besides, us guys discussing how their girlfriends dress is a real no-no - and one short step away from swapping recipes or knitting patterns. But we do love it (and do notice) when you look nice, and whilst an offhand “she scrubs up well” about you to our mates may not sound like the most flattering of compliments, trust me - it is.

Your Behaviour: “Forget about our mothers” says my friend Patrick, “it’s our mates you really need to get along with.” Don’t forget, before you came along he was free to spend his Saturdays at the pub with them, instead of trawling round IKEA with you. But hearing him tell his friends that you can be “one of the lads” shouldn’t get your back up - quite the opposite, in fact, as it doesn’t mean he thinks you’re built like a prop-forward, and can down a pint with the best of them. Instead, he’s using it as a term of real affection, meaning that while you’re all girly and gorgeous when you’re with him, you’re also adaptable enough to get along with his mates; laughing at their un-funny jokes, even offering to buy the next round, and they don’t feel inhibited when you’re around. And this means you’ve gone a long way towards understanding the complicated male psyche. If not the offside rule.

Your Relationship: “She knows who wears the trousers.” It’s a common boast, but in reality all blokes know who wears the trousers in any relationship - and it’s not them. Because while women can sometimes use sex to get what they want, sex is what we want, and therefore we’re always dependent upon whether you decide to take those trousers off once in a while. And believe it or not, telling our friends that “she knows who wears the trousers” is one of the biggest compliments we can pay you. And why? Because we’re admitting to them that you’re in charge, and despite your position of power, you realise we occasionally want to go out without you and behave like the beer-and-footie-obsessed Sugarbabes-fancying caveman that, underneath this surface veneer of man-about-town sophistication, we blokes all are. “Put in another way” explains my mate Ed, “it means you accept us for all our faults. And we love you for that.”

Your Sex Life: This is the one thing you’ll never hear us talk about - ever. Guys just don’t discuss their sex lives, unless they’re talking about an ex. “We don’t want our friends to know how good you are in bed” says my pal Tony, “mainly because the last thing we want is them picturing you in any position apart from that of our girlfriend.” So while we may love that trick you do with an ice-cube, we certainly don’t want to share it with our friends. Instead, we might refer to how great we think you are between the sheets a bit more ambiguously - perhaps by yawning exaggeratedly when we meet up for our usual Sunday morning 5-a-side, or just responding to our mates’ comments about how tired we’re looking by grinning, rolling our eyes and uttering just one thing. Your name.



Nellie

Does my boss like me more than just an employee?

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
boss jokes
tigerlilly asked:


My boss always seems to joke around with me and touch me( not anywhere inappropriate) all the time.But he doesn’t do it with any of the other employees. Does he want something more than just a professional relationship or am I just reading too much into it? If so what should I do? It wouldn’t make me uncomfortable or anything and don’t worry I am over the age of eighteen. I just don’t know what to do if he does want something more.

Ramon

Would anybody give there boss a two weeks notice as a joke for April Fools Day?

Sunday, July 13th, 2008
boss jokes
Dr. Goldfish asked:


I think it would be a good joke but I wouldn’t do it.

Floyd

How should I tell my boss?

Saturday, July 12th, 2008
boss jokes
puzlgrl21 asked:


I’m 5 1/2 months pregnant and haven’t told him yet, I’m 22 and when I was out a couple days in the beginning he made a joke about it being morning sickness and it was, now I feel all weird about telling. Can i write it in an email or should I tell him in person?

Cody

Lost in Translation: the Chinese English Translator

Thursday, July 10th, 2008
boss jokes
Maggi Carstairs asked:


So, you are visiting China!!!! You will need to learn some Translator Etiquette if you are planning to have your words translated for your Chinese Hosts to understand, and their words too.

Here are some of the things I learnt in China, from Translators who work as Translators translating Chinese into English.

You can see some of their published Public efforts on “Lost with Translation” Forum at ActiveEnglishSpeaking…AES



Don’t crack a joke. Its taken seriously and you end up with an hurt person who feels they have lost face because you laughed. eg ‘Oh!!! You really are being silly…’ is taken to mean, ‘you are silly’

Don’t try to correct their English. Because they translated it, it has to be correct.

Don’t try and explain a joke. You get into more hot water than its worth, and they do not think its funny.

Don’t correct ‘bad english’ as they do not see the inaccuracies and think you are weird, or even crazy, or that you don’t really know the language you were born to.

Don’t expect thanks if you do correct something they have asked you to proofread. They only ask you to proofread so they can show you how clever they are to have translated all this by themselves.

You are expected to say, ‘very good’ and ‘well done’ and nod your head many times. They do NOT want your proof corrections, and will not even acknowledge them if you do correct it because you cannot handle obvious errors.

If you see an error in a Newspaper or Magazine, and point it out, they will take it personally as a slur on their translating ability.

They will not understand the error and feel slighted because you have pointed it out.

They get very upset if shown an error in translation…anywhere. Even on a Road sign or shop front, and they will never understand what is funny about a hairdresser called “Fkt-it Hare”. They take engrish errors personally.

They get even more upset after you explain the error as you have now caused them to lose face because they still do not understand what you are talking about, and they never will, even when they say they do, because they can’t.

Do not correct a translator in front of her Boss or peers, as they do not understand her English anyway and think she is good because she speaks words they do not understand…and neither do you, because the words are wrong and don’t make sense.

Never try and explain your mistake to a translator for her to translate to your Boss. The message is always opposite to what you said, and you have no idea what has been said, and believe me, it will not be in your favor. I asked her to tell my male boss next time to send the wine to my room, instead of presenting it to me at the Table, and he was there the next night with wine and a big smile. I still wonder what she told him but it wasn’t what I said.

Do not ask a translator to translate something that has multiple or compound sentences and expect it to read correctly.

Never laugh at a meaning, especially if you know its right out of a Chinese Dictionary and is totally wrong….like the word ‘founded’…Who founded the Company? Grin!!! How was the account lost?

Never argue with a Translator. If she says Strawberries are cherries, you should simply nod and smile. Correcting only causes her to lose face, as the others around her don’t understand ‘Strawberry’ or ‘Cherry’ so what they heck!!! She knows Engrish….If she says its a cherry, its a cherry. Correcting her when she insists she is right, is a serious mistake and a total loss of face.

Always smile….it covers your confusion and distress.

Don’t ask her to translate the menu…she has no idea what the fish is called in English, nor the Engrish word for broadbeans cooked with salted pigs ears and feet. Insisting she must know is very bad. Just nod your head and eat what she chooses…even if you hate tomatoes and egg, raw sliced potato or seaweed soup…which seem to be the translators specials. And wines…forget that. Pick a number and order it, or drink hot green tea and hot orange juice.

Don’t ask her the price of an item. She really does not know how to calculate your share of the Account. Its better to simply pay, rather than cause her to lose face at being given a task she cannot handle, which is work out the bill and tell you what cost what.

When she has done something wrong, give her another task, and never point out that this was wrong. eg when page 32 was copied instead of 34 and 35, and done 24 times instead of 12, pointing this out is not acceptable. Shut up and give the task again, and say thankyou for the first mess up and circle-file it discreetly.

Be patient. Learn to say something six times in varying degrees of speed and ease until the message is smilingly understood. Never imply that she is not as competent as she is thought to be by those above her, or those who have hired her, and  who don’t have any Engrish and never will.

When she gets offended by your lack of tact, remember to smile becomingly and revise everything you said, until all around know that you are the Clot, and she is the sensitive word perfect translator who is being  pushed to extreme stress, because of you…the foreign devil who lacks charm and finesse

Last but not least, don’t throw the English Dictionary at her and tell her to read it. The Chinese Dictionary gets used tactfully when no-one is watching, and thats where she gets the wrong translations from. She will not listen to what you are trying to tell her about the meanings of words, so Give up and work it out yourself.

Don’t expect her to be even slightly sympathetic or empathetic or even understanding. You are the Foreign Devil and she is the Chinese martyr having to work under you and work out your words best as she can. Any mistake is yours, as you said it. She simply translated your words.

Telling her to speak slowly is a waste of time. She has learnt that fluent Engrish is spoken fast, and as no-one else understands it either, she is having great face by her fast speed of communication. So what if you don’t understand, and as no-one else can understand her words, and expressions, picked up from movies and bad CD taped programs, they are still expected to be impressed by her speaking skills, and so are you.

Smileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Its your safe guard. the moment you stop smiling, you are out of favor…as then she knows you are not happy with her, and that is bad Joss and even worse Karma.



Marguerite Carstairs June 2008



Yolanda