Archive for September, 2008

How to Relieve Stress at Work

Sunday, September 28th, 2008
boss jokes
Moses Wright asked:


heard stories about mean bosses from hell. It adds to stress at the workplace. In addition, heavy workloads with deadlines which are too tight and insufficient help can aggravate the situation at work. However, you can do something about it.

You can opt to incorporate exercises to help you cope with the stress levels and deal with the fundamental issue. If you feel tight in your neck muscles, sense that you are taking shallow breaths and are falling sick often, these are signs that you could be under stress. There are things you can do though to help combat the symptoms.

Slowly take a couple of deep breaths. You do not have to meditate, all you need to do is to breathe deeply to help release stress. Shift your head from side to side and extend both your arms and shoulders.

While breathing deeply, you should also try to shift your focus from the issue that is stressing you. Too much tension can make it hare to focus and recall important information, so it will be useful if you can shift your thoughts away from the troubling issue.

If possible, close your eyes while breathing deeply. Try to forget about the issue by concentrating on things that bring a smile to your face - your loved ones, a silly joke or a favorite tune. You can concentrate on anything to refocus, what is important is that you are able to distant yourself from the troubles that are weighing you down.

If you have started to work on the signs of stress, it is time to tackle the problem at hand.

There are those who decide to venture out and do their own thing. Certainly, this will create some new challenges, however, many are eager to face these challenges as they feel they have some control over the situation and deal with it in a way they are comfortable with. A new venture translates into long working hours and not much to show for it at the start, but the idea of being their own boss is a good enough incentive for many.

The possibility of being their own boss might not be everyone’s cup of tea though. There are those that will try to make a difference in their current job. They feel they are benefiting themselves but also helping their colleagues. This method is also beneficial as it allows others to feel they are not helpless in a bad situation.

You can also think about asking for a transfer to another section or take comfort that you could have a more reasonable superior in the future. In many companies, it is common for things to change almost all the time, so if you are willing to bide your time, you can wait it out.

If you decide to remain in your current workplace, concentrate on things that are within your circle of control and do not get too worked up about things you cannot control. You can try to get help from helpful colleagues and pay no attention to the colleagues who try to aggravate the problem.

You can also consider complaining to close ones if it will help, but when you are doing your work, concentrate on that and ignore other things.



Marvin

How do I handle my boss?

Sunday, September 28th, 2008
boss jokes
Tabitha asked:


I have a love hate relationship with this man. He is such a pain and is extremely needy. For example, I have to compose all his emails and he doesn’t know the basics of operatating a computer to save his life. I was on the job for 1 month and already I was being asked to complete his AR report. I really am trying so hard to respect him, but I can’t respect a man that pushes all his work on me. It has gotten so bad that no one contacts him for answers they contact me! He doesn’t mind interputing me, especially on payroll days, I have to drop everything. I work hard and I don’t think he cares. I thought I would be rewarded for all my hard work when raise time came. That was a joke, I received a $.39 raise. My position use to be two seperate positions and they have combined them into one. I was hired on as receptionist, which should be changed to office manager. Is this the norm are all bosses in the coporate world like this? How do tell him nicely to shove it?

Shannon

Achieve Great Sucess With Motivational Speakers

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
boss jokes
Ramesh asked:


Corporate motivational speakers are gurus of business and are treasure houses of profound wisdom about the understanding of human psychology. Equipped with years of business experience, having tasted success and having learnt from failures in their careers and life they are seasoned pros that provide valuable insight in to the workings of a business organization. They are stand up comedians, business consultants, psychologists, and counselors – all rolled in to one. It requires expertise and innate talent. Apart from being gifted with talent funny speakers are trained in the art of making people laugh with jokes, quotes, and amusing anecdotes.

Humorous motivational speakers for business build a rapport with their audience very fastly. Since they are neither bosses nor subordinates of anyone, they connect with their audience in an easy and friendly manner. And after winning the audience to their sides they get set to lift up their spirits with humor. Their peppy and humorous talks dwell on the business issues that form the agenda of the meeting. Motivational humorous speakers remind us that life is fun. Whatever be the situation, there is always a humorous side to it. They encourage using humor as a perspective and accomplishing even the gravest of goals in a light hearted manner. They prod others seeing the hilarious angle and thereby fill meeting with mirth and joy.

Drawing inspiration from successful stories from the world of business, from the lives of achievers, people with indefatigable spirits, and sometimes from their own triumph over disasters motivational inspirational speakers boost the morale of meeting attendees. These powerhouses of business knowledge, wisdom, commonsense, and mirth transmit their positive energy to the entire audience and charge them. They deliver speeches so swiftly and always laced with heavy doses of laughter that the audience craves for more of the good fare.

Business organizations are increasingly acknowledging the good results yielded by hiring humorous keynote speakers. So there is a great demand for these people.

In fact, the humorous keynote speaking scenario is vibrant the world over with a number of laughing clubs being formed by some charismatic and dynamic funny speakers. These clubs concentrate on laughter and unadulterated with jokes to bust stress of members. The effects of various laughter programs have trickled in to business organizations and associations as well through the humorous keynote speakers.

Humorous motivational speakers have taken their unique laughter programs, such as laughter yoga, to the business meetings. These laughter programs are perfect for alleviating the stresses of meeting participants. In combination with heavy doses of laughter, the wise and inspiring speech from keynote speakers form a potent tool in keeping the mood of meeting attendees upbeat.



Jamie

No Blind Aye in Team

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
boss jokes
B.L. Lindstrom asked:


Several years back my boss’ boss walked into my office and declared me to be an outlaw-rebel-maverick. I thanked her, which was clearly not what she wanted. But what did she expect from an unbranded individual who frequently strayed from the herd?

As I recall this particular issue called for me to give up on the idea of a PC on every desktop and just accept a couple of shared resources that would be placed in a public area. I kid you not. The powers that were, wanted to put two “personal” computers in a room for 30+ people to share. The absurdity of such a request was lost on these executives who held that a terminal view of mainframe processing was all the computing power that was needed (Pun totally intended).

In 1984, (no joke), I stood up and stated we should be giving everyone some processing power of their very own. We should use the mainframe network to share our individual accomplishments until such time as a faster more efficient method is developed. And everyone in the company should be given an email address.

The level of executive outrage and defiance that reigned down upon me was matched only by the number of people who lost their jobs as this company struggled to keep up with their competition while using outdated, slow responding, ever more expensive central computing systems, locked away in an enormous squeaky clean expanse. While I did not lose my job over this, the wasted resources and missed opportunities embraced by those who just wanted to git along like little dogies drove me and every other outlaw-rebel-maverick that remained at this company, out.

Years later I was approached by a group of trail bosses from this organization asking me to return to the fold, to rejoin the team, to help them blaze new trails and find greener pastures. I did not oblige them. As Gomer Pyle once warned, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.” This wisdom was well heeded for shortly after that recruiting session, the company imploded.

The point is, those of you who are (or were once) outlaw-rebel-mavericks should never give up your independent spirit in the name of team unity. If you disagree with the direction the team is taking you have an obligation to the larger organization to stand your ground until you are convinced that theirs is the better way or they are convinced that yours is or there can be found some alternate solution on which you can all agree. If the team proceeds without your consent and everything works out, it’s okay to admit you were wrong but don’t let that stop you from standing up the next time. If things go seriously wrong with their approach, don’t say anything, just help fix it. If they proceed successfully down your path share the glory with the team.

If your path leads to disaster, accept the defeat, find the root cause, fix the problem and adjust your thinking accordingly. You may have to work twice as hard to convince them of your next proposal’s merit, but your integrity will be unquestioned. Those of you who are not outlaw-rebel-mavericks should learn from those who are. Don’t be afraid to ask your questions. Challenge the prevailing opinion, regardless of its source. Be heard, not herd. Of course if you simply agree with the direction of the team, then you still need to contribute always mindful that, having no “I” in team is not an excuse for taking YOUR eye off of innovation and improvement.



Melanie

“experiences From ‘the Flow’ (3): Lost and Found - Kindred Spirits and Mistakes Made in Haste.”

Sunday, September 14th, 2008
boss jokes
Carl Pantejo asked:


“Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that’s good in life…”

By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo, Copyright December 2007

(Author “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor,” Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)

*Below is the third episode in a series of real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in “My Friend Yu – the Prosperity Mentor: Book II,” Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: Early 2008.

Enjoy this installment of the story, my friends.

Laugh (and learn) as you read about my ignorance, bumbling, and stumbling.

In the first and second parts of the “Experiences from ‘The Flow’ series (1) and (2),” I recounted my “used and abused” heartbreak, emotional ordeal, grief letter, recovery, and relapse.

Then I wrote about a miraculous, “chance” meeting with a beautiful Thai-looking, English speaking, foreign news reporter – a woman that had an uncanny resemblance to the main female character in my book “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor” (written over 6 months PRIOR to meeting her!).

Spooky, huh?

Okay, here we go…

- MESMERIZED -

…“You should visit me in my country sometime,” she said.

“I’d love to. How do I find you when I get there?” I asked.

“All you have to do is make it there. Believe me, just mention my name and someone will find me,” she said (matter-of-factly).

Half-jokingly, I said, “Are you telling me that you’re famous?”

“Kinda-Sorta,” she said, - smiling that dazzling smile of hers.

“Wow! That’s so cool! Okay, let it be written, let it be done: Songsana owes J.C. a tour of her home country,” I said ceremoniously – complete with a poor version of an after-sale, Arabian Rug Trader’s waving, hand-to-head gesture.

She giggled, looking even deeper into my eyes for…for what? Maybe she was thinking the same thing as I was: This person is too good to be true!

I simply smiled back at her and maintained our natural, constant, and comfortable eye contact.

Her native good looks required little to no make-up. Her eyebrows were meticulously shaped into alluring arcs over beautiful, dark brown eyes. Her eyes were framed by a modest eyeliner and a metallic (silver) eye shadow. Her flawless, fair skin looked deliciously smooth and soft.

I was simply hypnotized.

We sat there together on the cool cement, thoroughly enjoying each other’s company. We shared our personal histories. We both recounted enchanting anecdotes filled with fascinating adventures, private triumphs, and professional achievements.

The feeling was mutual: We were truly kindred spirits.

Engrossed in our conversation, we were totally oblivious to the crowds of people in the Sports Stadium.

Her advanced English skills were the result of studying at a prestigious University in the capitol city of her country (Vietnam). Her Major was in mass media/communications (Journalism).

She had been working in the field since she was 16 years old. I didn’t ask her how old she was (a polite habit, a vestige, of my American upbringing).

It’s difficult to gauge the age of Asian women – especially well kept, well educated, Asian women, but my guess would be in the early twenties.

My School’s Takraw team had national notoriety, so Songana and her camera crew were assigned to cover the athletic event. Takraw is a popular Asian sport resembling volleyball – BUT the players use their feet instead of hands. The round, wicker Takraw ball is about the size and weight of a damp, children’s Nerf Basketball. The sport is exciting to watch. All the players display the kicking skills of any seasoned martial artist. The “flying kick serves” and inverted, foot “spikes” are amazing.

Songsana said that her country’s top High School Takraw team was to play an exhibition match at my High School during the weekend (a few days away).

- WORK (What a nuisance) -

The High School sports event was well on its way and people were buzzing around, giving their chosen teams shoulder rubs and pep talks. Songsana and I talked for as long as we could before our co-workers and bosses found us, scolded us (for secretly slipping away), and reminded us we had jobs to do - now.

So, grudgingly, I went to the group of foreign English teachers and Songsana rejoined the camera crew and T.V. News group.

As Songsana shot scenes from all over the Sports Stadium bleachers, track, and soccer field, I watched her professional prowess. It was obvious to me that she knew her way around and in front of a camera. Her poise reminded me of someone long ago forgotten; another professional female whom fate matched me up with over 25 years ago (but that female was an “exchange student” soldier – and the subject for a future book).

I really admired Songsana’s pleasing, but direct manner.

As we both performed our respective responsibilities, I made it a point to regain eye contact as much as possible. One time, when she was nearby, talking to her colleagues, I saw her looking at me and immediately - reflexively - smiled and winked at her. The resulting smile on her face and sparkle in her eyes was utterly priceless.

- STUPID, QUICK GETAWAYS -

My boss huddled the foreign teachers together and announced the game plan. It was around noon and the boss wanted to make it an early day. To not arouse any suspicions, we were to surreptitiously slip away (meaning go home) one-by-one. I’ve never turned down an early quitting time in my life, so I anxiously waited for my turn to “disappear.”

My biggest concern was making sure I said good-bye to Songsana. I volunteered to be the last foreigner to leave; mainly because Songsana was still busy shooting another scene on the track field.

Finally, it was time to make my getaway, but I still hadn’t said good-bye.

“You. Eat,” said one of my Thai teacher friends, handing me an ice-cream cone from the teacher’s canteen.

“Kaap khun kraap (thank you),” I said, taking the ice-cream cone and making a beeline to Songsana. I didn’t care if she was surrounded by the camera crew; I wasn’t leaving without saying good-bye.

“Songsana, shhhhh…I’m going home now. Don’t work too hard,” I said, and handed her the ice-cream cone.

“Thanks, J.C.,” she said with a cute smile.

And for the first time since we met, in spite of her smile, I saw a tinge of melancholy in her eyes.

- DUMB, DUMB, DUMB -

I and my friends were delighted about the unexpected free, personal time. We rendezvoused at a spot well outside the stadium and headed for the taxis home. It was great to get a half-day. I was already planning on a nice, long run and weight workout at the fitness center.

So much had happened today. I planned to assimilate all the events while I ran on the treadmill. I could replay how Songsana and I met, talked, and spontaneously hit it off. I was so thankful that “all the planets aligned” and in spite of tremendous odds, we met in this country, on this day, and at this place.

Then I realized something that made me feel supremely stupid (dumber than dumb!).

IN MY HASTE TO LEAVE WORK EARLY, I FORGOT TO OFFER SONGSANA MY PHONE NUMBER OR TO EVEN ASK FOR HERS!

I didn’t know where she was staying in Thailand and I couldn’t call her.

I couldn’t even call her when she returned back to her country.

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb!…

(In the next article in this series, “Experiences from ‘the Flow’ (4): LOST AND FOUND: The Benevolent Hand of the Universe,” you will read how - in spite of my ineptness - the gentle hand of the Universe kept nudging me back towards Songsana. Celebrate my triumphs and wonder at the supreme benevolence of the Original Substance (God, the Universe, the One, etc.)

Until then, find “The Flow” and jump in!

Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,

Carl “J.C.” Pantejo

Note: If you want to read more about overcoming heartbreak, unconditional love, exorcising past personal demons, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’: From Heartbreak to Happiness”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (2): Coincidence or Synchronicity: FROM RELAPSE TO MIRACLES…”

“How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive”

“Remember Who You Are!”

“Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness.”

(By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or “Carl Pantejo”)

Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com



Thomas

Has anyone used a face on body program on their PC as a practical joke on a friend, enemy or boss?

Saturday, September 6th, 2008
boss jokes
Mo asked:


I do it all the time. I put this young and upcoming foremans face on a compromising picture and made several copies and stuck them all over the jobsite. The foreman was so humiliated he quit. Everyone hated him but had no idea how to stop him. This worked just perfect. After being the victim of this punks power play, I feel vindicated.
Face on Body is transferring a face onto any body you wish .

Randy

Facts About Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

Friday, September 5th, 2008
boss jokes
Adriane Lauren Luna asked:


One example of Employment Law Dispute is Sexual Harassment. Sexual Harassment is a form of employment discrimination. The law defines it as an unwelcome verbal, visual, or physical conduct of a sexual nature that is severe or pervasive and affects working conditions or creates a hostile work environment.

Stats on Sexual Harassment

About 15,000 cases relating to sexual harassment in the workplace are being brought to the United States Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) every year, 60% of which are filed by female employees.

However, not only female workers are filing sexual harassment claims. In 2004 alone, 15% of the complaints handled by the EEOC were filed by men, 11% of which were against their female superiors.

What are the Characteristics of Sexual Harassment?

1. It is Unwelcome – the act done or remark said must be unwelcome and disturbing. Otherwise, it is not actionable.

2. It may be done:

a. Verbally – it may be a green joke, unpleasant rumors, or a sexually-insulting remark or comment;

b. Physically – it may be in the form of an assault, an inappropriate touching of the body, hugging, kissing or stroking;

c. Visually – it may be through screensavers, pictures and messages;

d. Non-verbally - it may take the form of a facial expression or derogatory gestures; or

e. In written form – such as letters, text messages or email.

3. It is severe and pervasive – the remark or action must be seriously insulting, affects the working condition and creates a hostile working environment.

Who can be a harasser?

Anyone (whether male or female, whether a boss, worker, or stranger) can be held liable of sexual harassment. Also, whether it is intentional or unintentional, an act or utterance, as long as it is offensive and sexually-related, may be used as ground for a sexual harassment claim.

Who can be harassed?

In the same vein, anyone (whether male or female, whether a boss, worker, or stranger) who has been sexually offended may sue for sexual harassment. In addition, it is not material to your claim whether the one you are suing belongs the same or opposite sex.

What to do when sexually harassed?

The first thing to do is to inform your superiors about the incidents right away so they can perform legal and administrative measures to warn or punish the perpetrator. Sexual Harassment is a ground, among others, for employment termination. One incident is enough for a worker to lose his job.

Another solution would be to confront the harasser and tell him that his actions or remarks are unwelcome, pervasive and are affecting your work. In order to maintain a good working environment, it is better to give him a warning first.

But if the act is so severe or if he still persists in harassing you, then it is better to take some legal actions;

If you have been a victim of sexual harassment, you should hire an Employment Law Disputes Attorney to defend you from this malicious act. Sexual Harassment is an actionable wrong, and the victim is entitled to damages. Contact your lawyer right away.

For credible legal advice and representation regarding sexual harassment, you may always depend on our Los Angeles attorneys. Just log on to our website and we will immediately cater to your legal concerns.



Stephanie

Be Borat or be Boring

Thursday, September 4th, 2008
boss jokes
Dan Goldgeier asked:


I once had a client who made exurban starter houses. Our audience was first-time homebuyers, people who’ve saved and budgeted and are ready to make an investment. When an ad I wrote referenced the term “401(k),” our client said, “A lot of our customers are truck drivers and schoolteachers. Schoolteachers don’t know what a 401(k) is.” Coming from a family of teachers who’ve built up some nice pensions, I most assuredly knew our client was mistaken about the savvy of her customers, whether they had a 401(k) or not.

I was reminded of this as I went to see “Borat,” as I’m sure many of you have. Among others, the film makes fun of Kazahks, Uzbeks, Gypsies, Jews, feminists, homosexuals, Pentacostals, and drunk frat boys from South Carolina. I’m quite aware that people don’t see the humor in that, which is fine. It’s not a movie for everybody.

But there are deeper controversies surrounding the movie. Before “Borat” even hit the theaters: The Anti-Defamation League released a statement which said: “We are concerned, however, that one serious pitfall is that the audience may not always be sophisticated enough to get the joke, and that some may even find it reinforcing their bigotry.”

In other words, while people at the ADL think they’re smart enough to get the joke themselves, it’s the rest of the population that’s stupid–they’ll walk out of “Borat” thinking Khazakstani cheese is made from human breast milk and they’ll be eager to sponsor their own “Running of the Jews.” (For heaven’s sake, don’t ever take them to see “The Producers” or “Blazing Saddles.”)

It’s this same sense of “concern” expressed for “Borat” moviegoers that we’ve seen time and time in again in advertising: Clients who demand ads to be dumbed down so no harm is done if the ads are interpreted literally.

“Don’t complete the circle for them,” I often heard in ad school. “Consumers like to complete it for themselves.” Advertising, like music, movies, or any other creative endeavor, is often subject to interpretation. To me, the Mona Lisa is just a painting of a chick with a smirk. But other people have spent their lives figuring out what she’s thinking about. (Oh, and if you think I’m comparing the ad on your desk to the Mona Lisa…keep dreaming.)

 This isn’t about being edgy or risky or taking big creative chances. It’s about giving people the satisfaction of drawing their own conclusions. It means that people will actually take the time to think about something if their curiosity is piqued. Tell them something in a straightforward manner and they’ll hear it, to be sure, but they won’t think about it ever again.

Many successful ad campaigns have an element of exaggeration, tension or dissonance—not to be taken literally. On the ‘80’s TV show “Night Court,” when Mac, the court clerk found out his Vietnamese-born wife Quon Lee was running up a huge credit card bill. He asks her how that happened, and she holds up an American Express card. “Don’t leave home without it!” she says. “I thought it was a law.” Now, imagine if that campaign had been killed by a moronic Marketing Manager who thought consumers would think there were legal consequences for leaving home without an AMEX card.

Frankly, any ad professional or client who makes decisions based upon some version of the notion that “people are stupid” or “our audience won’t understand that” are themselves the stupid and ignorant ones. The smug self-righteousness of the ad industry is only one of the reasons much of the work we turn out is so bad—we’re not nearly as sophisticated as we think we are. And consumers are often able to see an ad or an idea and understand that creativity means not taking it literally.

 There’s always the safe route. The ad or idea that clients know they can sell to their bosses because it’s been done before and it’s non-threatening. So long as dollars and jobs are at stake, anything open to interpretation is a risk many clients won’t take, and many agencies won’t advocate.

And the safe route isn’t limited to advertising. You could tell that right from “Borat’s” opening weekend at the box office. It was #1. “Santa Clause 3” was a distant #2.

I’ll interpret that as a good sign.

 



Brandon

Has your boss ever asked you to do something you thought was wrong?

Thursday, September 4th, 2008
boss jokes
PSF11 asked:


or made you uncomfortable?

Years ago, around Easter time, my boss asked me to scan in an Easter card with the crucified Christ on it and make a joke card out of it for her friends. I said– “fire me if you want– I won’t do it”. Has anything like that or worse happened to you?

Charlene