Archive for November, 2008
any good blonde jokes?
Sunday, November 30th, 2008ok i like my boss and i know that he doesnt like me or maybe he does dont know?
Saturday, November 29th, 2008
justbeautiful4u asked:
my coworker always joke with my boss that i like him and he says nothing but his ears turn read. wht should i do we work together on tuesdays and thursdays alone. hes really sweet. hes not even my type but something about him i adore.
Ronnie
my coworker always joke with my boss that i like him and he says nothing but his ears turn read. wht should i do we work together on tuesdays and thursdays alone. hes really sweet. hes not even my type but something about him i adore.
Ronnie
Sex Frogs (joke my boss sent me)?
Saturday, November 22nd, 2008
Silentrage asked:
A blonde goes to her local pet shop in search of an exotic pet.
A blonde goes to her local pet shop in search of an exotic pet.
Looks around the store, she notices a box full of frogs that reads:
“Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Comes with complete instructions.”
The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody’s watching.
She whispers softly to the sales clerk, “I’ll take one.”
As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her,
“Just follow the instructions.”
The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, opens the package and reads reads the instructions. She does what is specified:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splashe on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed; place the frog beside you.
The frog will do what he has been trained to do.
She quickly gets into bed with the frog and nothing happens.
The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.
She rereads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the
paper, “If you have any problems, please call the pet store.”
So, the blonde calls the pet shop.
The man says, “I’ll be right over.”
Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell.
The blonde welcomes him in and says, “See, I’ve done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just sits there.”
The man picks up the frog, looks into its eyes and says very sternly:
“Look, I’m going to show you how one more time!”
I do have a really cool boss, he’s 71 years old and still young at heart. He sent it too me cause its a blonde joke he loves to make fun of me. lol
Albert
How to impress a lady boss?
Friday, November 21st, 2008
Getting Matrried asked:
She is very professional, must be between 40-45, prefers rules and regulations, ethics at work. Jokes with her colleagues. Never praises anything new or good you do only says a very dry “ok”, but always takes the opportunity to point out any small mistakes.
She is very professional, must be between 40-45, prefers rules and regulations, ethics at work. Jokes with her colleagues. Never praises anything new or good you do only says a very dry “ok”, but always takes the opportunity to point out any small mistakes.
I have joined this company recently as a Sr. Executive and reporting directly to her. Can you please advice how to impress a lady boss coz I never worked under a lady?
She is average looking and reads a lot of books at home. That is only thing I have found out in just two weeks.
Some more details:
I am technically very sound and so is my work and analytics skills. I consider myself a master in the field of online marketing. However, at times I have to agree with her at points where I know she is wrong. Once again, the logic thing missing. I anticipate she has a lot to teach me as far as management skills are concerned
My only concern is that just like with male bosses you can drink, smoke and discuss sports and that helps breaking the ice.
What could be the options that I can have of breaking ice with this lady? Should I talk family? Or husband? (I saw her family pics at her desktop, was traveling somewhere).
Man she is so hard to crack … it takes a lot of effort to smile. But Thanks I agree she has chosen me and thats a positive point.
Gertrude
Funny Joke my boss sent me?
Friday, November 7th, 2008
Silentrage asked:
Apple Computers announced today that it has developed a computer chip
that can store and play music in women’s breast implants. The iBoob will
cost between $499 and $599. This is considered to be a major breakthrough,
because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts
and not listening to them.
Apple Computers announced today that it has developed a computer chip
that can store and play music in women’s breast implants. The iBoob will
cost between $499 and $599. This is considered to be a major breakthrough,
because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts
and not listening to them.
Thanks to Apple, now everyone will be happy.
This response is for “Star” my boss is 71 yrs old. I have been working for him for years. We joke and kid eachother all the time. I love my job. My boss is great. There are only 3 of us that work here, me, my boss and his 47 yr old son. I’ll never quit and sexual harrassment comeon. some people are just sue happy. I make good money, get to play on the pc and have fun at my job. Why give it up to be unemployed and a homebody sucking $$ off the hardworking people out there making their tax$$ pay for me and my kids. lol thats funnier than my joke.
Grace
Sexual Harassment at Work: Education is the Best Defense
Thursday, November 6th, 2008
Elizabeth Ryan asked:
Sexual harassment in the workplace is a serious problem, and although employees know that it exists, many are unsure of what to do if they become a victim. According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, sexual harassment is defined as “unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual’s employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual’s work performance, or creates an intimidating , hostile or offensive work environment.” Title VII of the Civil Rights Act is the main federal law that prohibits sexual harassment. In addition, each state has its own anti-sexual harassment law.
Employment lawyer Greg Noble explains, “Sexual harassment really goes beyond just your boss being mean to you. It has to involve some sort of sexual conduct.” This can take the form of a work environment that becomes hostile because of inappropriate sexual comments, insults, or touching. A hostile work environment may also be created through sexual photographs, demeaning jokes, or threats with a sexual undertone.
A second type of sexual harassment is known as quid pro quo. According to employment attorney Greg Noble, this occurs when “your boss is conditioning a benefit of employment on something sexual, such as a date, sex, or anything like that.” Quid pro quo sexual harassment can also occur when someone in a position of authority requests a sexual favor in exchange for not firing or otherwise punishing the employee, or in exchange for a favor such as a raise or promotion.
It is important to be aware that if you are the victim of any type of workplace harassment, you cannot simply quit your job. New Jersey employment attorney Kevin Costello explains, “Unfortunately, it’s not so easy to just quit. In order for us to carry remedies for you into court and say that you were forced to resign because of the harassment, it has to be pretty bad. The standard is called ‘conduct which is so extreme and outrageous that no reasonable person could be expected to continue to endure it’…If the harassment is that bad, you do have a right to leave [and] you do have a right to capture lost wages and other lost benefits.” Exactly what kind of behavior qualifies as “extreme and outrageous conduct” varies from case to case, judge to judge, and court to court.
Although you cannot quit your job unless the sexual harassment is severe, your employer is obligated to address the issue of harassment and take action to resolve the problem. “It is important that people understand that employers have an obligation under the law not just to prevent unlawful sexual harassment, but when there’s a legitimate complaint about it, to investigate it fully and to take corrective action. If the employers don’t do that, they’re subject to all kinds of penalties,” explains employment attorney Steve Cahn.
Educating yourself on both federal sexual harassment laws and your state’s law is an essential step in protecting yourself from becoming a victim of sexual harassment. When you know your rights, you will know when they are being violated and you will be empowered to defend yourself. If you are sexually harassed at work, it is advisable to inform the harasser directly that the conduct is unwelcome and must stop. In addition, you should use any employer complaint mechanism or grievance system available. Finally, it is advisable to speak to an employment lawyer about the situation as soon as possible in order to ensure that your rights are protected and the proper legal procedure for dealing with the harassment is followed.
Joseph
Sexual harassment in the workplace is a serious problem, and although employees know that it exists, many are unsure of what to do if they become a victim. According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, sexual harassment is defined as “unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual’s employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual’s work performance, or creates an intimidating , hostile or offensive work environment.” Title VII of the Civil Rights Act is the main federal law that prohibits sexual harassment. In addition, each state has its own anti-sexual harassment law.
Employment lawyer Greg Noble explains, “Sexual harassment really goes beyond just your boss being mean to you. It has to involve some sort of sexual conduct.” This can take the form of a work environment that becomes hostile because of inappropriate sexual comments, insults, or touching. A hostile work environment may also be created through sexual photographs, demeaning jokes, or threats with a sexual undertone.
A second type of sexual harassment is known as quid pro quo. According to employment attorney Greg Noble, this occurs when “your boss is conditioning a benefit of employment on something sexual, such as a date, sex, or anything like that.” Quid pro quo sexual harassment can also occur when someone in a position of authority requests a sexual favor in exchange for not firing or otherwise punishing the employee, or in exchange for a favor such as a raise or promotion.
It is important to be aware that if you are the victim of any type of workplace harassment, you cannot simply quit your job. New Jersey employment attorney Kevin Costello explains, “Unfortunately, it’s not so easy to just quit. In order for us to carry remedies for you into court and say that you were forced to resign because of the harassment, it has to be pretty bad. The standard is called ‘conduct which is so extreme and outrageous that no reasonable person could be expected to continue to endure it’…If the harassment is that bad, you do have a right to leave [and] you do have a right to capture lost wages and other lost benefits.” Exactly what kind of behavior qualifies as “extreme and outrageous conduct” varies from case to case, judge to judge, and court to court.
Although you cannot quit your job unless the sexual harassment is severe, your employer is obligated to address the issue of harassment and take action to resolve the problem. “It is important that people understand that employers have an obligation under the law not just to prevent unlawful sexual harassment, but when there’s a legitimate complaint about it, to investigate it fully and to take corrective action. If the employers don’t do that, they’re subject to all kinds of penalties,” explains employment attorney Steve Cahn.
Educating yourself on both federal sexual harassment laws and your state’s law is an essential step in protecting yourself from becoming a victim of sexual harassment. When you know your rights, you will know when they are being violated and you will be empowered to defend yourself. If you are sexually harassed at work, it is advisable to inform the harasser directly that the conduct is unwelcome and must stop. In addition, you should use any employer complaint mechanism or grievance system available. Finally, it is advisable to speak to an employment lawyer about the situation as soon as possible in order to ensure that your rights are protected and the proper legal procedure for dealing with the harassment is followed.
Joseph
i played this joke on my boss?
Sunday, November 2nd, 2008
vis asked:
I went in and told him i need tommorrow off to go to my uncle frank funeral.. he knew my ex husband brother.. so it was not hard to fool him.. he asked what happen. so i told him this.. aunt martha was in her 70 as was frank.. and he was quite blind…that they had a small dog.. and frank one day mistook the mighty dog for potted meat.. well he liked it so much that .. that was all he would eat.. soon after uncle frank started have stomach promblem.. so aunt martha took him to a doctor.. when the doctor ask about his diet and she told him. the doctor reply was to stop it or it would killl him.. my boss looked at me so concerned.. and asked was that what killed him.. i just looked back and said..no he was suning him self in the middle of the road a semi hit him(( the reason he started to belive it was my brother in law.. back in school would wear these way over sized sunglasses. and they would call him hollywood.. and he would get a kick out of it.)).. this is a true story.well prank
daina he realized i was pulling his leg with the suning part.. he did get a laugh out of it
Theodore
I went in and told him i need tommorrow off to go to my uncle frank funeral.. he knew my ex husband brother.. so it was not hard to fool him.. he asked what happen. so i told him this.. aunt martha was in her 70 as was frank.. and he was quite blind…that they had a small dog.. and frank one day mistook the mighty dog for potted meat.. well he liked it so much that .. that was all he would eat.. soon after uncle frank started have stomach promblem.. so aunt martha took him to a doctor.. when the doctor ask about his diet and she told him. the doctor reply was to stop it or it would killl him.. my boss looked at me so concerned.. and asked was that what killed him.. i just looked back and said..no he was suning him self in the middle of the road a semi hit him(( the reason he started to belive it was my brother in law.. back in school would wear these way over sized sunglasses. and they would call him hollywood.. and he would get a kick out of it.)).. this is a true story.well prank
daina he realized i was pulling his leg with the suning part.. he did get a laugh out of it
Theodore
Unleash the Possibilities With Unsecured Loans
Saturday, November 1st, 2008
amenda dorothy asked:
Imagine that you get a promotion in your job. Your boss and colleagues are asking you for a grand treat. You tell them that you will surely throw a party. When you return to your home, you find that your home is not in the condition of giving a party and you will need to renovate your home. You tell all these things to your wife, who is very much happy about your promotion. This gives her mammoth joy and she celebrates in her own way. When she comes to know about your thoughts of giving the party at your home, she also starts to take tension.
Suddenly, your phone rings, when you pick up the phone, you find that from another end your boss orders you that the party should be of high quality and there should not be any untidiness as his wife hates the mess.
So you and your wife approach to a five star hotel to book it for the party but when the manager tells you about the charges for the party, you both get shocked. After this sudden shock you both realize that giving that party in your home will be the only right option, as the combined cost of renovating your home and catering that party will be much lesser than the bill amount of that five star hotel. After hitting upon this brilliant idea, you find that you both are still in the catch-22 state as you do not have sufficient amount to renovate your home and to arrange for that party.
Now what’s next?
You and your wife, somehow manage little amount by collecting your savings but still there are many hurdles to cross. You do not agree in borrowing money from your friends and colleagues as they may crack serious jokes on you. So both of you are completely confused about where to go and what to do?
At this instance, the only thing that can help is a loan borrowed from a bank. Yes it is correct! Just ask the bank persons for the unsecured loans and they will show a whole new arena of different loans like personal loans, bad credit loans and other loans.
As a matter of fact, the unsecured loans are the most useful type of loans as one can avail these loans just by qualifying the below mentioned criteria:
* The borrower should be above than 18 years of age
* The borrower should be a UK citizen
* The borrower should have great banking record and credit score
* The borrower should be salaried or self-employed
* The borrower should not have any bad credit record in past, and etc
The unsecured loans are one of the most easily available loans as they include less documentation and queries. The person can avail such loans for any legally correct work. The bank officials will never ask you for the reason but they will surely make a mark of the reason served by you.
One can simply get the loan amount of up to 25,000 pounds that he or she can pay in the maximum repayment time period of up to 8 to 10 years. So select the best available unsecured loan for you and show your office people that how well-managed you, your wife, and your home are.
Alicia
Imagine that you get a promotion in your job. Your boss and colleagues are asking you for a grand treat. You tell them that you will surely throw a party. When you return to your home, you find that your home is not in the condition of giving a party and you will need to renovate your home. You tell all these things to your wife, who is very much happy about your promotion. This gives her mammoth joy and she celebrates in her own way. When she comes to know about your thoughts of giving the party at your home, she also starts to take tension.
Suddenly, your phone rings, when you pick up the phone, you find that from another end your boss orders you that the party should be of high quality and there should not be any untidiness as his wife hates the mess.
So you and your wife approach to a five star hotel to book it for the party but when the manager tells you about the charges for the party, you both get shocked. After this sudden shock you both realize that giving that party in your home will be the only right option, as the combined cost of renovating your home and catering that party will be much lesser than the bill amount of that five star hotel. After hitting upon this brilliant idea, you find that you both are still in the catch-22 state as you do not have sufficient amount to renovate your home and to arrange for that party.
Now what’s next?
You and your wife, somehow manage little amount by collecting your savings but still there are many hurdles to cross. You do not agree in borrowing money from your friends and colleagues as they may crack serious jokes on you. So both of you are completely confused about where to go and what to do?
At this instance, the only thing that can help is a loan borrowed from a bank. Yes it is correct! Just ask the bank persons for the unsecured loans and they will show a whole new arena of different loans like personal loans, bad credit loans and other loans.
As a matter of fact, the unsecured loans are the most useful type of loans as one can avail these loans just by qualifying the below mentioned criteria:
* The borrower should be above than 18 years of age
* The borrower should be a UK citizen
* The borrower should have great banking record and credit score
* The borrower should be salaried or self-employed
* The borrower should not have any bad credit record in past, and etc
The unsecured loans are one of the most easily available loans as they include less documentation and queries. The person can avail such loans for any legally correct work. The bank officials will never ask you for the reason but they will surely make a mark of the reason served by you.
One can simply get the loan amount of up to 25,000 pounds that he or she can pay in the maximum repayment time period of up to 8 to 10 years. So select the best available unsecured loan for you and show your office people that how well-managed you, your wife, and your home are.
Alicia
