Archive for the ‘Business’ Category

I Hate My Job and My Boss

Friday, December 12th, 2008
boss jokes
104inc.com asked:


I here the same complaint over and over again; my manager sucks, I hate my boss, if I was in charge I would be a better boss, the owner of the company never listens to my ideas. I have one thing to say to those people. STOP COMPLAINING!!!

The reason you are in a dead end no where job is because you are not the smartest or the most efficient or the hardest working. Most of you who complain about this are probably reading this from your desk at work instead of being productive. The successful people do not work for anyone but themselves. They create something new to bring to the marketplace. They are the ones who create opportunities so a lazy dumb ass like you can even have a job.

I want you to conduct an honest evaluation about yourself and your work ethic and ask your self the following questions:

1. How much time do you spend speaking with co-workers about things other then work?

2. How much time in a day do you send on email talking with friends or forwarding jokes rather then doing your job?

3. When was the last time you presented a feasible idea to the company which can help the company to increase sales, profitability, and efficiency?

4. How often do you have to be told what to do in your job rather then you taking the lead to do your job?

5. How often do you send your work up to management without checking the quality of your work?

If you are truly working at least 40 hours per week and the answer to number 1-2 is 0 think about what the owner of the company is doing? That owner is probably working 2-3 time more then you because they want to make sure that the company stays afloat so that you and all the people just like you will still have a job tomorrow.

The reason that you are not moving up is because you have done nothing when it comes to points 3-5. You need to remember something. Most smart and successful entrepreneurs and managers already know what they want and how they want it and it is most likely they will not take your advice or suggestions. So next time they tell you to do something do not say it cannot be done. Try to figure out how to get it done. Do not ask question just do it. As long as you get the end result and it is legitimate and ethical do it. That will show the manager that you are worthy of more and worthy of success.

If you still hate what you are doing, go to 104jobz.com. Find a staffing company that can place you with a firm that you can work with.



Dennis

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Achieve Great Sucess With Motivational Speakers

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
boss jokes
Ramesh asked:


Corporate motivational speakers are gurus of business and are treasure houses of profound wisdom about the understanding of human psychology. Equipped with years of business experience, having tasted success and having learnt from failures in their careers and life they are seasoned pros that provide valuable insight in to the workings of a business organization. They are stand up comedians, business consultants, psychologists, and counselors – all rolled in to one. It requires expertise and innate talent. Apart from being gifted with talent funny speakers are trained in the art of making people laugh with jokes, quotes, and amusing anecdotes.

Humorous motivational speakers for business build a rapport with their audience very fastly. Since they are neither bosses nor subordinates of anyone, they connect with their audience in an easy and friendly manner. And after winning the audience to their sides they get set to lift up their spirits with humor. Their peppy and humorous talks dwell on the business issues that form the agenda of the meeting. Motivational humorous speakers remind us that life is fun. Whatever be the situation, there is always a humorous side to it. They encourage using humor as a perspective and accomplishing even the gravest of goals in a light hearted manner. They prod others seeing the hilarious angle and thereby fill meeting with mirth and joy.

Drawing inspiration from successful stories from the world of business, from the lives of achievers, people with indefatigable spirits, and sometimes from their own triumph over disasters motivational inspirational speakers boost the morale of meeting attendees. These powerhouses of business knowledge, wisdom, commonsense, and mirth transmit their positive energy to the entire audience and charge them. They deliver speeches so swiftly and always laced with heavy doses of laughter that the audience craves for more of the good fare.

Business organizations are increasingly acknowledging the good results yielded by hiring humorous keynote speakers. So there is a great demand for these people.

In fact, the humorous keynote speaking scenario is vibrant the world over with a number of laughing clubs being formed by some charismatic and dynamic funny speakers. These clubs concentrate on laughter and unadulterated with jokes to bust stress of members. The effects of various laughter programs have trickled in to business organizations and associations as well through the humorous keynote speakers.

Humorous motivational speakers have taken their unique laughter programs, such as laughter yoga, to the business meetings. These laughter programs are perfect for alleviating the stresses of meeting participants. In combination with heavy doses of laughter, the wise and inspiring speech from keynote speakers form a potent tool in keeping the mood of meeting attendees upbeat.



Jamie

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Making Money With Affiliate Programs

Monday, June 30th, 2008
boss jokes
Pankaj Gurung asked:


If we are all honest, most of us would do anything to live a life where we work from home, decide what hours we will work, when we will get up in the morning to how much we earn, right?

Wouldn’t it be great to get paid based on how well you perform? Imagine going in to work and because you chose to give more than 100% that day, your boss decided to pay you more money!

Let’s face it as well, life is very short and you only get one chance to live it out the way you want to live it out. Doing a 9-5 job or pulling grueling 12hr shifts doesn’t add to your life it takes away from it.

That is why so many people today are turning to affiliate marketing for extra income. This billion dollar industry over the past year has soared in leaps and bounds with more people spending money around the holiday shopping season. So how you benefit from being an affiliate marketer?

It all begins with Getting Started!

Sometimes the hardest step is the first one we take.

That’s no joke, and being an affiliate marketer is no exception. When you set out to start your online career as a successful affiliate marketer, there are going to be many ups and downs that are going to make you want to give up. Let’s face it being your own boss, being strict with how you spend your time and balancing your home and work life is going to be a challenge at time.

Don’t be put off by that as their will be times when you are making money while you sleep and waking up in the morning to find you have made an extra hundred dollars or two is always thrilling. Keep in mind all the days you have made more than you expected as those times will help you through any rough patches. Believe you can do it, surround yourself with positive people and learn from those who are doing well at it, and do it on a regular basis.

One of the things you are going to want to do right at the start is get good information from an affiliate marketer who is working from home and managing to consistently earn a living from affiliate programs.

Also you will want to set aside time each day even if it is only 1hr to spend learning the ins and outs of what to do and what not to do. It is very easy to rush head first into something and end up on the other side out of pocket and frustrated.

Realize you will need to invest in your business

The phrase ” It takes money to make money” is without a doubt the truth, but that is not to say you can’t make money online without spending hundreds of dollars. There are numerous ways going about it, but the hard fast rules of advertising have always been the same throughout the ages.

If you don’t have enough money to buy software like a website creator, there are many free software packages out their though places like download.com which allow you to make a website. Heck even Netscape the free browser comes with a website creator.

So what things will you need to get started?

Well there are no hard fast rules but having a

Website editor like FrontPage or Dreamweaver

Domain name through namecheap.com

Hosting through hostgator.com or one of the

various hosting companies out there.

Internet connection are really some of the main things, I mean you can use someone else’s computer if you really need to.

Realize that Affiliate Marketing is a booming industry that continues to grow everyday. A few resources you might want to check out when your first starting out is.



Richard

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11 Reasons Selling Sucks!

Monday, March 3rd, 2008
boss jokes
Peter Lawless asked:


If you have ever been involved in sales or selling then you may well relate to some of these - and hey please grow the list, I am sure there are a lot more out there that I have not even heard of!

1. Constantly being rejected on the phone especially when the receptionist who is in the middle of doing her nails is pissed off at yet another bloody sales person disturbing her preening routine and who may not actually believe her current line of bullshit about the customer being on a camping holiday with a couple of Eskimos!

2. Winning that big customer sale only to be asked by your boss - “so what are you going to sell today then?”

3. Janet in accounts just told everyone the sperm joke - “what’s the difference between a sperm and a sales person - at least a sperm has a one-in-a-million chance of turning into a human being!”

4. Telling your boss that a sale is in the bag and then your customer goes on the missing list not returning phone calls, emails or any attempt at communication besides kidnapping - and then he doesn’t have his check book!

5. You have spent months creating the ultimate solution, the customer is delighted and on installation day, Fred from the technical department infects their whole system with a virus, instead of installing the software.

6. All customers and prospects being basically bad, unreliable and malevolent people who use all sorts of clever and devious tricks to avoid speaking to you!

7. Your Mum finds out you’re a low down crook of a sales person, she thought you had trained as a lawyer and you could legally cheat, swindle and tell lies.

8. You took a new sales job with great earning potential, sacrificing a great basic salary to find out that the company either doesn’t have a product or the product is so crap, you spend your 3 weeks with the company in the “returns” department.

9. No-one and I mean no-one ever, ever returns your phone calls.

10. Everyone thinks that sales people never listen and you just happen to be the one in a hundred who actually does - yes really you do!

11. Not being appreciated, I mean come on, you in sales because you love the glory, you have a big ego and the commission check just isn’t big enough yet to buy a Porsche so you can show off!

And if you thought that was all the bad news, well there’s more, a couple of guys in Ireland have now launched a sales training course that teaches people how to Stop Selling and what’s more, they only accept people on the course if they complete a qualification questionnaire.

What do you think is the next step now to boost your sales?

And the moral of this article? Customers buy things they want from people they know, like and trust! If you want your customers to like you, and buy from you, then treat them as if they were the most important people in the world. Stop selling and start serving your clients.



Craig

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